Wedding Speech Order: Who Speaks When (and Where the Bride Fits In)
The running order of wedding speeches follows a rhythm older than any couple using it: the father of the bride opens, the groom speaks second, and the best man closes the night. Once you know the traditional order — and the modern variations — planning who says what (and when) becomes simple.
This guide covers the traditional UK and US order, where the bride, the parents and the maid of honor fit in, when in the day the speeches happen, and the questions couples ask most.
- Father of the bride — welcomes the guests, speaks about his daughter, toasts the couple.
- Groom — thanks guests and both families, praises his bride, toasts the bridesmaids (UK) or the couple.
- Best man — closes the night — stories about the groom, messages from absent friends (UK), the final toast.
Modern weddings increasingly add a bride’s speech (often joint with the groom), a maid of honor toast, and a welcome from the mother of the groom.
The traditional order, speech by speech
The classic order exists for a reason: it moves from gratitude to celebration to comedy, and it hands the microphone to the person with the hardest job last — the best man, who has the stories and the room’s full attention.
- Speaks first as (traditionally) the host. He welcomes the guests — especially those who traveled — tells one short story about his daughter, welcomes the groom into the family, and toasts the couple. Three to four minutes.
- Thanks everyone who made the day happen: guests, both sets of parents, the people who traveled. The heart of his speech is his bride; the formal bit is a toast to the bridesmaids (a UK tradition) or to the parents. Four to five minutes is acceptable here.
- Speaks last and gets the biggest laugh budget. He tells stories about the groom, in the UK traditionally replies to the groom’s toast on behalf of the bridesmaids and reads messages from friends who couldn’t attend, and ends with a toast to the newlyweds. Two to three minutes — short beats long.
Where the bride, parents and maid of honor fit in
The traditional order assumed a certain wedding; modern ones don’t. Nothing is obligatory — the only rule is that someone welcomes the guests and someone closes the night. The most common modern additions:
- The bride. Either speaks after the groom (so the couple closes together) or delivers a joint couple’s speech that replaces the groom’s solo slot. More and more couples do this — it guarantees the last word belongs to both of them.
- The maid of honor. Pairs naturally with the best man: she speaks after him, or they alternate. Same structure as a best man speech with the humor dialed warmer.
- The mother of the groom. In the US, often a rehearsal-dinner toast the night before; at the reception, a short welcome that frames the day as two families joining. Coordinate with the father of the groom — one of them is enough, or they speak together.
- The MC or officiant. Introduces each speaker and keeps the running order moving. If you have a lot of speakers, a good MC matters more than a longer program.
When during the day do speeches happen?
The classic slot is after the meal: guests are seated, fed, and a captive audience. Two variations are common now — speeches between the main course and dessert (so nervous speakers don’t lose their appetite), and the increasingly popular American habit of toasts before dinner, which gets the scary part over with and lets everyone relax. Whatever you choose, put the cake cutting right after the final toast: it gives the night a natural pivot from ‘listening’ to ‘celebrating’.
Rehearsal-dinner toasts (US tradition) live the night before and are deliberately informal — this is where the mother of the groom and out-of-town family usually speak, so the reception itself can stay tight.
Does the order change by country?
- UK & Ireland. Father of the bride → groom → best man, with the best man replying on behalf of the bridesmaids and reading cards and messages. Irish weddings often add music between speeches and run slightly longer.
- US. Same bones, tighter execution: often just the couple and the best man, with toasts at the rehearsal dinner the night before. An MC or band leader usually announces each speaker.
- Australia & NZ. Mirrors the UK order, with the couple’s speech increasingly replacing the groom’s solo turn as the closing speech.
How long should the whole speech block take?
Three speeches with toasts should land between 12 and 15 minutes. If you have five or six speakers, cap the whole block at 25 minutes and alternate speakers with courses so nobody sits through a lecture. Hungry guests remember the wait, not the words.
Frequently asked questions
Does the best man speak before or after the groom?
After — in the traditional order the best man is the final speaker of the night. He replies to the groom’s toast (UK tradition), tells his stories, and closes with the last toast before the party starts.
Does the bride have to give a speech?
No — it’s never been an obligation. It’s increasingly common though, either after the groom’s speech or as a joint couple’s speech that replaces the groom’s solo slot entirely.
Do the parents of the groom speak?
Optionally. In the US the mother of the groom often toasts at the rehearsal dinner; at the reception a short welcome is becoming common. Coordinate with the father of the bride so the welcomes don’t duplicate — one host voice is enough.
Who speaks first at a wedding reception?
Traditionally the father of the bride, in his role as host: he welcomes the guests and opens the speeches. Modern couples sometimes open themselves with a joint welcome before handing over.
Writing your part of the order?
ToastScribe writes your speech from your role, your relationship and one memory — in about two minutes, free while in beta.